Sad as it might be, you can’t always trust a guy who tells you he loves you. Sometimes he’s lying; sometimes he might think he loves you, but he just doesn’t know what love is. Sometimes, he’s not really capable of love, and he says it because it’s become a cliché with him.
The important thing to remember here is that actions are louder than words, and when he speaks you have to read between the lines. You may find they speak louder than all his declarations of love.
Look for these telltale signs.
Is he nice to you? Plain and simple, does he treat you with common courtesy. There are times when couples can argue and get rude; there are times when you can forget yourself, or take your lover for granted. That can happen when people have been together for a while.
But when someone can't find it in their heart to treat you with common decency that he'd treat a stranger on a regular basis, he can't really care as much as he claims to care.
The important thing to remember here is that actions are louder than words, and when he speaks you have to read between the lines.
If he’s verbally or physically abusive, consider this magnified 100 times. He doesn’t know how to care, he only knows how to possess and manipulate. He has a long way to go before he can really offer love anyone.
Always Puts Himself First
You’re sick, but he doesn’t want to pick up your share of the chores on his day off. He’d rather play video games. The electric bill is past due, but it doesn’t stop him from meeting his buddies at the bar. No matter what the issue, he makes you feel like a tyrant for asking you to go even a little out of his way.
His selfishness may indicate he’s not really that concerned about you, your needs, or your life together as a couple. The relationship may be convenient for him, or better than being alone, but his unwillingness to work to improve it might indicate he’s not there because of genuine feelings for you—he’s just coasting because it’s easier.
When you’re upset with anything, he’s annoyed. He doesn’t want to hear it. When you need to talk, he shakes his head and tries to get away. If an argument starts, he shuts down and shrugs it off. He is emotionally unavailable, leaving you to feel alone and work through your feelings yourself.
Some people are emotionally closed off because of childhood; they have a hard time expressing feelings, and they’re so uncomfortable with it that they can’t even be around other people expressing feelings. But other times, it’s a sign that he just doesn’t care about your feelings.
Cheating or Still Appears to be Looking
Maybe he’s in a relationship and won’t leave his baby mama. Maybe he’s cheated on you—or come close by sexting an ex or carrying on highly suggestive chats with other women. Even though he says he’s with you, he insists on going out with his buddies to singles bars. He flirts incessantly. To top it off, it seems the only time he really comes around is when he’s in the mood for love. He always seems to have an excuse when you need him.
He could very well be playing you. Or perhaps he likes having you around, but he doesn’t care as much about you personally. You’re just good enough for now, and he’s waiting for something better to come along.
It can be hard to face when you realize that the love of your life doesn’t feel the way you thought he did, but the sooner you make the realization, the better.