Sometimes, happily ever after just doesn't happen. It's unfortunate but it's a harsh fact of life. You can't turn off the love you feel for someone just because the relationship didn't work.
There are times when it's prudent to hold out hope for a fairytale ending, but there are also times when you just have to give up the ghost, accept the reality of the situation and move on with your life. That doesn't mean you still can't make a life with someone else.
There comes a time when mourning your old love needs to end. You have to get up, brush yourself off and start looking forward.
Don’t Dwell on the Past
There comes a time when mourning your old love needs to end. You have to get up, brush yourself off and start looking forward. Pack up the old photos and memorabilia—if you’ve got a shrine to the past in daily view, it makes it very difficult to stop thinking backwards and start thinking ahead. Stop allowing yourself to dwell on thoughts of what might have been~ practices mindfulness and whenever you catch yourself ruminating over your lost love, let go of those thoughts and put your focus on the present moment.
Don’t Make Comparisons
When you’re with someone new, even if you adore the person dearly, your mind may try to make comparisons. It’s hard not to hold the love of your life up as a yardstick to everyone else, and you might start thinking that your ex would have done this, or your ex would never do that, or your ex was a much better dresser.
When these thoughts invade your mind—stop them! They are a sure-fire way to sabotage a good thing. If you have a chance at a happy life with the person you’re with now, you have to stop comparing that person to your ex. You have to take him on his own merits. The minute comparisons enter your mind, think of five things you really like about the person you’re with now.
You Can Love More Than One Person
It is possible to love more than one person, despite what romantic movies will have us believe. Just because there is one person you see as the big love of your life, as the one who got away, it doesn't mean you can't feel love for others. The reason you feel you're having a hard time doing it is because you may be holding back-- you've been hurt, and you still care about someone, so you may be trying to hold new people at arm’s length.
If this is the case, it's a matter of being willing to overcome the past, and open your heart again to let someone else in. Love is not a one-shot deal in a lifetime. Just like you can love your mom and your dad at the same time, just like you have room in your heart to love more than one child or more than one friend, you also have room in your heart to love more than one person romantically. The sooner you realize you can do that, the sooner you accept that you don’t have to stop loving your ex, the sooner you’ll be able to extend those feelings to someone else who is more promising in your life.