It’s your first date and within a few minutes you are thinking that it was all a big mistake. There’s no chemistry and your partner for the evening has already annoyed you with his or her actions or words. So how do you get through the evening? Here are three tips.
If there is just no chemistry and you find that you also lack common interests or perspectives on life, there is no reason to keep the evening dragging on
Keep the Conversation Going
If the conversation lapses or if it is going in a direction you don’t like, then it is time to take control of the dialog. Either way, you can ask questions that lead you to know the person better or you can at least bring the conversation around to a subject that is interesting, or at least not offensive, to you. For example, you can ask your date to tell you more about a recent trip they took or what their childhood was like. Be sure to listen to your date’s responses so that you can follow up with more questions or respond with something from your own life stating something such as “That bit about x reminds of how I grew up.”
End the Evening Early
If there is just no chemistry and you find that you also lack common interests or perspectives on life, there is no reason to keep the evening dragging on. After all, if there is no chance the relationship will work, then by extending the evening you are wasting both your time and your date’s time. You can politely end the evening early by saying something such as “I think you are a really nice person but I don’t really feel that we have a romantic connection. Thanks for spending time with me but I think it’s best if we end the evening after dessert.” Also, don’t be tempted to say “I’ll call you” or “Maybe next time we can….” if you don’t plan to see the person again.
The Venue is All Wrong
If the venue turns out to be wrong, say too crowded or noisy, then be sure to have a backup plan. It’s easy to say “You know, this place is a lot more crowded than I thought. There’s a quieter place down the block that we can go to.”
A bad date doesn’t have to be a disastrous date; in the right environment it could thrive and with the right conditions it could be amazing. Make sure that you exhaust your options before calling it quits!