Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Believe it or not, the same can apply to your relationship. It’s human nature to want to blame the other person when there are problems in a relationship, but what if you tried to change yourself a little bit?
You may be surprised to see your partner respond in kind. Try one—or all—of the following things to be the best boyfriend you can be.
One of the main things women complain about when it comes to men is communication. On average, women tend to have more of a need to talk about their feelings and thoughts than men do. They also have more of a need to hear men say what’s on their mind. Because of this, many women can take silence as unwillingness to share or as shutting them out. Realize that when she’s asking questions about how you feel or what you’re thinking, she genuinely wants to know.
Give your lady the support she’s looking for. When she wants to talk about her problems, listen to them.
Most men complain they don’t like to talk about their feelings as much, and they don’t feel the need to hash out (and re-hash) issues, so it may not be easy for you. Be open and honest, and you may even find you benefit from it once you get going. Even if you have to remind her that it’s hard for you, she’ll appreciate it if you try and feel closer to you.
It’s hard to have a strong foundation for any relationship without respect. The woman in your life needs to be respected on multiple levels. She needs to be respected as a person; give her credit for her mind and her personal strengths. She needs to be respected as a lady; be respectful of her body and her choices.
She also needs to be respected as your partner; appreciate her contributions to the relationship and the role she plays in your life. It doesn’t matter whether you both subscribe to more traditional gender roles or not, she still needs to be respected as an equal partner in your life together.
Give your lady the support she’s looking for. When she wants to talk about her problems, listen to them. Don’t tell her what to do, or point out her mistakes and shortcomings— just let her lean on you in her time of need.
When she’s feeling down about herself, give her a sincere complement. If something is important to her, offer her encouragement. By being her rock you can help her overcome problems and reach her potential, making her a better woman. She’ll see you as a better man for it.
As a relationship goes on, it’s easy to begin to take her for granted. There’s a reason why relationships are more exciting in the beginning— it’s the thrill of the chase. Being admired and desired makes a person feel good. Don’t ever get so busy with work, chores, friends or your own personal interests that you forget to shower her with attention.
Leave notes or small gifts—such as a flower or a piece of chocolate. Give her a compliment when she walks through the door every day. Go out of your way to do something special on occasions like birthdays and holidays. This kind of attention lets her know that she means something to you, that you treasure her and appreciate her. It makes her feel loved.
Sometimes we can be more inconsiderate to the person that we love than we would dare be to strangers or friends. This can be a huge problem in a relationship. Always keep promises. Be on time and call and apologize if you’re going to be late. Speak politely and without yelling or sarcasm. A little simple courtesy can go a long way in preventing arguments and hurt feelings.